I am a New York City-based dominatrix and cultural activist. I started doing BDSM professionally in 2016 after finding a dungeon on craigslist (those were the days) and then mostly did online work for a year or two while I finished college before transitioning to full-time in-person BDSM.
There are as many different kinds of sex workers as there are kinds of people, so when seeking out a provider to help you explore your queerness it’s good to ask yourself questions.
'Sex Work has given me a place to bring forth an intensely femme side of myself that isn’t often out in other areas of my life. I have learned that I really enjoy shifting my gender presentation to inspire lust and desire.'
What’s it like starting out now, when ads have shifted from the back pages of the local paper to almost exclusively online? When everyone talks about being ‘on brand’ and a social media presence is essential?
I thought I’d had a plenitude of sexual experience when I started—I... had a sex blog where I would write about OKCupid and Craigslist hookups—but most of those encounters were things I was hazing myself through.