Vanilla sex has always turned me off. I look for something deeper. That's why I reinvented myself as fetish practitioner. You can have sex and feel absolutely nothing. That's so heteronormative for it to be 'put penis in vagina and cum'. For me, sex is erotica.
The lives of 19th century women are known to us today mainly through their letters and writing, but also through the then new (black-and-white) portrait photography, and the vivid paintings, pastels and watercolours of impressionist artists.