I’ve been a sex worker for so long now that sometimes I wonder which parts of my high femme identity are things I do because of work, and which parts are due to my work.
I am a New York City-based dominatrix and cultural activist. I started doing BDSM professionally in 2016 after finding a dungeon on craigslist (those were the days) and then mostly did online work for a year or two while I finished college before transitioning to full-time in-person BDSM.
I had always been curious about this sex work – I was lucky to, for whatever reason, keep out a lot of the negative messaging people around me growing up received about their sexuality.
When it comes to sex work, there’s no shortage of lessons to be learned about oneself, including what “sex”, “work” or even what the term “yourself” actually means. I’d have to say that it’s mostly taught me that there's no wrong or right answer.
There are as many different kinds of sex workers as there are kinds of people, so when seeking out a provider to help you explore your queerness it’s good to ask yourself questions.