I am a New York City-based dominatrix and cultural activist. I started doing BDSM professionally in 2016 after finding a dungeon on craigslist (those were the days) and then mostly did online work for a year or two while I finished college before transitioning to full-time in-person BDSM.
"The interpersonal, emotional skills necessary as a domme was a big skill that even in my civilian life is pretty unrivaled. Specifically, I’ve developed a keen eye for submissive men and things that make men twitch."
I had always been curious about this sex work – I was lucky to, for whatever reason, keep out a lot of the negative messaging people around me growing up received about their sexuality.
The threats sex workers face are not just from clients or individuals in society; the very system we live within is at the root of much of the violence we face.
I’ve been a sex worker for so long now that sometimes I wonder which parts of my high femme identity are things I do because of work, and which parts are due to my work.