What’s it like starting out now, when ads have shifted from the back pages of the local paper to almost exclusively online? When everyone talks about being ‘on brand’ and a social media presence is essential?
I am a New York City-based dominatrix and cultural activist. I started doing BDSM professionally in 2016 after finding a dungeon on craigslist (those were the days) and then mostly did online work for a year or two while I finished college before transitioning to full-time in-person BDSM.
'Communication, consent, and understanding your partner's desires and boundaries are essential for a satisfying and healthy sex life. Everyone is unique.'
I thought I’d had a plenitude of sexual experience when I started—I... had a sex blog where I would write about OKCupid and Craigslist hookups—but most of those encounters were things I was hazing myself through.
I had always been curious about this sex work – I was lucky to, for whatever reason, keep out a lot of the negative messaging people around me growing up received about their sexuality.