I am a New York City-based dominatrix and cultural activist. I started doing BDSM professionally in 2016 after finding a dungeon on craigslist (those were the days) and then mostly did online work for a year or two while I finished college before transitioning to full-time in-person BDSM.
I thought I’d had a plenitude of sexual experience when I started—I... had a sex blog where I would write about OKCupid and Craigslist hookups—but most of those encounters were things I was hazing myself through.
When it comes to sex work, there’s no shortage of lessons to be learned about oneself, including what “sex”, “work” or even what the term “yourself” actually means. I’d have to say that it’s mostly taught me that there's no wrong or right answer.
The threats sex workers face are not just from clients or individuals in society; the very system we live within is at the root of much of the violence we face.