I honestly have too much on my Amazon wishlist.
Who'll step up and purchase gift cards to cover the items for Me?
Don't disappoint Me.
If you've found my work on Mastodon to be beneficial, please consider supporting me with money:
(Note: This is as an individual contributing to Mastodon, and in no way related to Switter. I am not an employee of AssemblyFour)
G’day Switter! It’s MistressEmelia from Twitter.
I’m the founder of Unobvious Technology (https://unobvious.technology / @UnobviousTechnology). We’re building tech for sex workers, our first product is PrivatePatrons (https://privatepatrons.com / @PrivatePatrons)
On the sex work side of things:
• Subscribe: https://iwantfanclub.com/timeline/mistressemelia
• Tribute: https://www.getindiebill.com/store/checkout/d7163b08-996f-48ad-a1f0-5b8a8e9ddf4e
Uber driver: “What do you do?”
Me: “I’m self employed.”
Uber driver: “I’m not gonna lie, you’ve got this ‘I’ll whip your ass in leather’ look.”
Me: “Good call.”
Uber driver: “Wait... what?”
Uhhhhhh send me money
I hate when people are like “aren’t the guys in strip clubs so gross??” meanwhile a customer at my vanilla job just asked me if he could lick my nipples. Like... guys are gross everywhere
Yeah sex is great but have you ever taken so much money from a man that he logs off and deletes his account?
Judging you massively.
I hate how in every film depicting a sex worker working for the first time followed by her crying in the shower.
Why don’t they ever show her in sheer happiness knowing financial freedom starts now?
How would one go about acquiring some type of CBD edible if they have chronic pain that becomes debilitating during their period?
roses are red, grass is green
Strippers: when you have a shit night and only make $100 do NOT feel bad about yourself. Remember that you are still the badass bitch who made a grand last week on a Tuesday and that it’s not your fault these tricks are just broke or being cheap. Love you all! Keep hustling. 💕👯♀️
Them: do porn
Me: * does prawn *
Fellow sw’ers, please (bc I got this again today) 🙏🏽 include *your* verifying info when asking for a reference.
This helps keep everyone safe—if you’re like “hey I’m Susan, is X okay?,” I’m sorry Susan but I need to verify YOU’RE not a boss/frenemy of my client FIRST. 👏🏽
Uhmmm that’s not “exercise equipment” & your Nana was a big ol freak! 🤣😂😭💀
•possible flavoured chapstick/lip gloss
•that cute half smile you get when you pull away
•they’re gentle and passionate
•umm hello have you ever seen a woman?
•yeah i’ll pass
This is terrifying, but I'm sure at least one of my followers wants this.
When she leaves skid marks on you 😍
If a Domme needed to pick up a pair of heels in NOLA where would she go? You know, if she were past order/shipment deadlines for her photo shoot and didn't realize she hated her shoe options until she started packing...last minute. 🙃
But.. what if there was something better than dick out there?
I address shit how I ADRESS SHIT ! I don’t care how other celebs adress things ,I’m not them .Before I was a celeb I was Cardi and under the millions I’m still Cardi .I use to say eat a dick before now I say eat a WHOLE ASS DICK !THE END!
My client found me on tryst it being his first time I asked how did you find that site?
He said he was watching porn and ad came up..
Way to go tryst!!!
American Twitter gays all look the same.
By the same I mean they all look like that one semi-masc shy guy we all know; exclusively dressed in graphic tees and cargo pants (unless H&M has a sale on silk shirts), cannot go past a mirror without pulling awkward-side MySpace face.
Former Moderator for @switter