Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for my ass being as big as the sun.

Marriage ends in heartbreak too, Emily. I would know. I've been the cause of a few lol

That feeling when you think you've wasted the entire day in bed masturbating and listening to music then realize you're actually a being good law-abiding citizen

I never believed there was such a thing as being too cautious so if anyone feels the need to take extra measures, here you go:

More of you would get a response from me ( and other providers) if you just made it this easy (via mobile.twitter.com/AmberRey9/s) :

I'm thankful for my beauty because I mean, look at me.

So, I caved and joined Private Delights. If you are on there and have experienced the pure bliss of my company, feel free to leave a review: privatedelights.ch/profile/Dan

Imagine having the confidence level of those random creepy men who dm you unsolicited dick pics then ask for a follow back

You Dry Bird Defenders have no sense of taste, but you do have a sense of humor lmao 😂

I am guilty of this for two reasons: 1) I’m 5’3 so I can’t always reach it and 2) how can I possibly focus on your dick when I’m trapped in such bliss?

To whoever bought me this Balenciaga mini city bag ( I only shared my wish list on here so I know it was one of you ) THANK YOU 💕

This is the first designer bag I own that didn’t belong to someone’s ex wife first ☺️

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