I thought I’d had a plenitude of sexual experience when I started—I... had a sex blog where I would write about OKCupid and Craigslist hookups—but most of those encounters were things I was hazing myself through.
I’ve been a sex worker for so long now that sometimes I wonder which parts of my high femme identity are things I do because of work, and which parts are due to my work.
"I believe sex workers have valuable insights to offer, particularly in the realms of consent and communication. Understanding that not everyone uses the same language surrounding consent or possesses the same level of awareness regarding their limits and boundaries is crucial."
What’s it like starting out now, when ads have shifted from the back pages of the local paper to almost exclusively online? When everyone talks about being ‘on brand’ and a social media presence is essential?
I am a New York City-based dominatrix and cultural activist. I started doing BDSM professionally in 2016 after finding a dungeon on craigslist (those were the days) and then mostly did online work for a year or two while I finished college before transitioning to full-time in-person BDSM.